As everyone probably knows, Logan, Kurt and Ethan are moving on Tuesday to Lubbock. I found out last Wednesday, that it would be a possibility, but then everything just moved on up for them. QUICKLY!!! But I can be nothing but happy for them. I wanted my child to have an amazing life I could not give him, and that is what they are doing in every way the Lord sees fit! I know that this move has got to be from the Lord, because I know they dearly love YWAM, and they would not just leave for any other reason! I am so happy that Ethan will get to be with his grandparents, and family that really love him, and I hope that he will just brighten up their lives every day they are around him.
At first hearing this felt like my heart had been taken out of my chest. Like someone literally stabbed me and pulled it through my skin...I could not believe that it was happening, because it was NOT supposed to be like this. But then the next morning, after spending time with the Lord, and praying and just giving everything over to Him, I realized that this is so much better. My flesh wants all 3 of them to stay here, but honestly, seeing them every week is a lot harder that I expected. I love and enjoy my visits, but it is so hard every week saying bye to him again. And I know that in the end, it probably would not be healthy for either me or Ethan. I want the most best for him, and I really feel like the Lord is pulling us further apart so that we have a tighter relationship further along! I am really sad about not getting to see Logan and Kurt. I have grown so close to them, and really believe that they are my family. I just love walking into a place where they are and just smiling ear to ear because I am so excited to see them. I will get through this though with the Lord by my side.
My goodbye's are never going to be forever, but more like a see you later, because I know that I will eventually see them again next month and the month after that. I am just waiting on the Lord to show me what's next in my life, because now I will be fully focused on the Lord, and not worried about if I will run into them at Walmart. I'm not always ready emotionally to just run into them. I really hope that this move will be everything they've always wanted with a family. And I am so blessed to be a part of it! I only have tears of joy and happiness for them. I LOVE YOU SO MUCH ETHAN!!! :)
jordan
God has such a wonderful plan for your life Jordan!! I hope you read this and remember that once we surrender our lived to God and learn to let him guide us, it opens up so many new and amazing things in our life. You ARE His. You have been beautifully and wonderfully made, unique and created in His image. Even in our sin and bad choices God STILL loves us!You have made such a selfless sacrifice because you know that is what is best for your son. Remember how much love you feel for Ethan and how much MORE our God loves you? Read this poem and remember you have a loving and wonderful Father that even in your brokeness you never leave his hands!
ReplyDeleteWhile praying one day a woman asked, “Who are you, Lord?” He answered, “I Am.”
“But, who is I Am?” she said.
And He replied…
“I Am Love, I Am Peace, I Am Grace, I Am Joy, I Am the Way, the Truth, and the Light…
I Am the Comforter, I Am Strength, I Am Safety, I Am Shelter, I Am Power, I Am the Creator, I Am the Beginning and the End, I Am the Most High.”
With tears in her eyes she looked toward Heaven and said,
“Now I understand. But, Lord, who am I?”
Then God tenderly wiped the tears from her eyes and whispered,
“You are Mine.”