Well, Ethan turned 3 months old since I last wrote an update, that was kinda hard for me. Actually realizing I do not have my child in my arms, I feel like Moses' mother, I think I should have named him that! :)
The Lord's continued to work in my life. The other day, I was really feeling down. I told Mama Brown that I could just feel myself slipping into a deep depression. And that I needed to stop it right now before it got worse. I took her advice and went out to the lake, and just sat there listening to worship music, singing, praying and just yelling at God with my emotions all out. When I was done, I got up and held my arms out and said, "God I'm just giving it all to you, take all this and I am done with it." When I said that, I felt a full rush of fullness just go through my body, I can not even truly explain it but I then saw two geese fly out of the lake and up into the sky. To me that was a symbol from the Lord that it all is gone... Of course, I am going to still have my bad days, and there are going to be times when some of these emotions come back, but atleast I now have a knowing that it will all die down. I feel like I am beginning to move forward again, a little step by step.
Last Wednesday, I got to Face Time Logan and Ethan on an iPhone. That little guy has grown so much since I've last seen him. It felt amazing to see them, and to see his little face light up when I started talking and to just wonder if he knew it was me. I can only imagine what it would be like when he's a little older and can really speak to me! I can not wait till those days! But these days I will cherish. I loved talking to Logan especially since I have missed her and Kurt too. They are coming down some time at the end of April, LORD WILLING!!!!! I will get to see them and Ethan! :) :) :) :) :) :) :) lol
Probation is still going good! Sent another payment this week, and so far in the past 3 weeks, that's been almost $500 dollars. That's truly the Lord. And I'm so gracious for the job I have. The wonderful people I work with, and the encouragement I receive!
Yesterday I got the chance to hang out with Katrina and little Wyatt Kistler! That was a blessing in itself! Thankful that the Kistler Family is in my life! :) This weekend I am planning on spending some time with another family from Living Alternatives. I feel so blessed that people are wanting to invite me over for dinner, to hang out and just talk. Thank you GOD for the amazing family I have gotten through Living Alternatives. I am truly blessed!!!
Thanks for the love and support from Coach and Mama Brown, Alex, and Aaron in all my decisions, and for just being the family to me that they are. I am blessed with being able to come to any one of them for anything even if it's just to talk. Thanks for the prayers everyone!!!!
xoxo
jordan
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